Sometimes in life we get knocked down. The learning experience of failure can be bittersweet and all too often we let it diminish how we view ourselves. This negative, defeating self talk can be detrimental in our lives, but thankfully there are actionable steps that can help you uplift and empower yourself.
Our primary goal today is for you to create and implement a plan of action. Through which you will create change over time. You can’t rebuild years of self-esteem degradation overnight, but every time you accomplish a goal you’re one step closer to realizing your vision.
As I have talked about before, consistent imperfect over time leads to success in all areas of life. Don’t stress over perfection. If you wait for everything to be perfect, you’ll never get anything done. Implement the ideas I present in this guide “How To: Self Esteem” and I promise you’ll have the confidence to tackle the next chapter of your journey head-on.
Stack some wins
This is the fun part. If you don’t have some already, write down a list of goals you would like you accomplish. I encourage you to make this list both broad and narrow in scope. Include small things like making the bed and doing the dishes, as well as more medium and long term goals, like saving X amount of money or starting a business. Be as thorough as you like. Then organize them in order of difficultly, least to most.
Now it’s time to get it done! Starting with the least difficult tasks on your list, you’ll find that once you start checking things off the boost you get from one accomplishment can propel you into the next, creating an unstoppable train of productivity! Additionally, being able to see a visual representation of all the things you’ve accomplished can be a helpful reminder of the value you are able to provide.
Be sure you add to, revise and edit your goals at, and for regular intervals (daily, weekly, monthly, yearly). Loss of momentum can spiral out of control just as fast as accomplishment can snowball into success. Hold yourself accountable to your goals by writing them down, saying them out loud and referring to them regularly.
Don’t just read about it
Your excuses are completely valid, but it is up to you whether or not you will let them affect the outcome of your goal. You get to decide if your excuses are worth more than your goals. Every time we let our excuses win, self-esteem deteriorates.
Don’t give yourself the chance to question your goals. Dive right in and don’t look back. Remember that there is no “stand-still” in life. You are either progressing, or regressing. There is no in between. Pride yourself in the work and know that it is only through your action that you can continue to grow.
This process isn’t easy, but it is one that can only truly be learned through experience. The most important thing you can start doing is anything, as long as you actually do it and with commitment.
Discomfort is the key
If you are waiting for your growth to be comfortable I have some bad news for you… IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. Ever. A good analogy for this comes from weight lifting. When you’re trying to build muscle, you have to effectively “injure” your muscle in order for it to get stronger and grow. Not only that but it must be done on a regular basis.
Apply this same idea to accomplishing your goals. You must put the work in on a weekly and daily basis. It won’t always be easy but if you want to get where you want to go, the only path is straight through the discomfort. Stay present and identify it as growth. It will become a feeling you look forward to having because you know when you experience it that you are making progress.
It is all too often we find ourselves overwhelmed by comfort and leisure and start to question why we have experiencing feelings of worthless and inadequacy. Is it not obvious? When we sit in comfort and constantly seek pleasure we aren’t growing. And if we aren’t progressing, what are we? That’s right, regressing. Regression over a long period and be debilitating. The only cure is sustained action.
Release fear of judgment
The act of judgment is necessary in many aspects. In particular, when judging ourselves and others we usually do so in a way that is either mutually beneficial or altruistic in nature. For example judging for a heavy smoking habit. You have a negative view of the action itself but the ultimate dream is for the person to give it up in order to lead a healthier lifestyle and be a better member of society.
We often pass negative judgment on ourselves far too quickly. Sometimes when we fail it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we’re not good enough or won’t be able to accomplish our goals because we failed a couple times. Take every failure as an opportunity to learn. This goes hand in hand with the discomfort principle discussed earlier.
Don’t let the fear of failure stop you before you even begin,
Perspective is everything, and mindset is the lens through which we perceive the world around us. Our internal dialogue that narrates our day to day must keep a positive tone! Speak words of encouragement over yourself. Seek out ways that excite and inspire. Celebrate your accomplishments, analyze your failures and seek to comprehend.
Understand what causes your own personal negative self talk cycles. Then, through action and persistence, break them. At first, the act of speaking positively to yourself may seem unnatural and forced, but as you flip that internal dialogue you will find that being positive becomes the news normal.
Remember that self-esteem takes time to build. But every day you take action and make positive change, you embody the best version of yourself, and that is the true victory.
Thank you for reading! I hope you have gleaned something from this article today. Tell me about a recent accomplishment you’ve made in the comments below so we can celebrate it together! Good luck on your journey my friend.